AFC Championships – Colts vs. Jets – Sunday 3:00

i am not happy that the ravens and the bengals are out. i am also not happy that my top two remaining teams are playing each other in the NFC championships, meaning only one of them can make an appearance into the superbowl. furthermore,  i am definitely not happy that the jets (read: worst team ever. at all. ever. period.) somehow managed to outrank the colts on my list, and i REFUSE to even consider even for the tiniest bit of time cheering for them. but, it is what it is. and i guess i just have to go with it.

i went out with him a couple of times after that, but then it got weird.

how did it happen that i am stuck picking one of these teams to advance to the superbowl? ngl. i refuse to admit that either of these teams will be on the field on the most sacred day of the football season. actually even thinking about picking one has me wanting to get into the shower fully dressed while weeping, but as the vikings will be doing the tromping (that’s right, tack another superbowl championship onto brett fav-rey’s OUTSTANDING career). i guess it doesnt’ really matter. and although i hate both teams, revis has been entertaining to me as of late, and i like the idea of being able to shout “dirty sanchez!!” whenever jared allen sacks him TO THE GROUND. so. jets it is. purely emotional (as i think they have very little chance of actual beating peyton and his wild horses –  definitely translates to douche).

21-17. jets. ugh. that felt dirty.

NFC Championships – Vikings vs. Saints – Sunday 6:30

what if he brings his wife?

say what you want about the vikings, but with 10 pro bowl selections (awkard, because they won’t be able to make it to the pro bowl…), 4 more than any other team, can we really say that fav-rey is the only reason they’re good this year? answer: no. also, who the fuck cares about how he’s hurting the packers feelings by playing for a conference rival? answer: I DON’T.

this is guaranteed to be an entertaining game. we have the two highest scoring teams, brett favre vs. drew brees, and bandwagon fans all around. also, i’m especially excited because most of my playoff fantasy team’s players are from either the vikings or the saints.

high scoring, but vikings take it. 37-30. nice try, drew brees.

my playoff challenge team

you go girl.

is so fucking sick. im ranked in the top 1000 overall, and i’ll get 2x brett favre’s, adrian peterson’s, and longwell’s points this week, as well as 3x the jet’s defense (yay, revis). nick won’t even let me in his mini-league because he’s skurred cause i’m already tooling on him so bad. but, if i win the whole thing i’m pretty sure i get something tight like superbowl tickets for next year, and as the panthers will be there (i got 10$ on it) i will definitely need to go. 3% chance this happens.

other important predictions

uno. i die alonely due to choking incident: 70% (directly related to the fact that i don’t really eat)

dos.  i dom my presentation tomorrow: 100%

tres.  me, danny, and tree win the party on friday, because of (in no particular order) me wearing the tie skirt and toting the beer bong as if it were a child’s stuffed animal, danny wearing women’s clothing and faux smoking a pipe, brad sporting a mullet and imploring everyone to ask him about his weiner, everyone else getting got, and none of us heeding the precautionary lyrics of caribou lou: 99.9%  (aside: chance we sleep in da fort: 100%)

quatro. i watch uptown girls without crying. oh, brittany murphy, i loved you so: 0%

cinco. he may be dead: 50% (he may be did or he may be didn’t, but what did he maybe do?)

cinco. i meet an attractive guy who introduces himself and tells me that he’s a jets or skins fan, and i immediately punch him in the face: 100%

seis. GROUND: 100%

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