Posted by: Ali | April 15, 2010

i wish kwame brown were here.

Lakers v. Thunder

better call kenny loggins.

lakers beat thunder in 6 games. durant will score a lot of points, but luckily the rest of his team blows so the lakers pull it out. not that there was any chance they wouldn’t be making it to the championship this year. they have kobe and the ugliest guy in the nfl. how can they be beat?

Mavericks v. Spurs

mavericks beat the spurs, if for no other reason than because dirk nowitzki is really really foreign.

Trailblazers v. Suns

MVP like steve nash.

trailblazers upset the suns, despite steve nash’s awesome hair. so awesome. but i digress.

Nuggets v. Jazz

nuggets over the jazz. aspen! golden! statutory town!

Celtics v. Heat

just the tip.

celtics over the heat. reasons why? paul pierce, green jerseys, ray allen, kevin garnett, and luck of the irish, to name a few.

Hawks v. Bucks

hawks win.

Magic v. Bobcats

magic crush the bobcats. i’m sorry north carolina. at least you have the panthers! and UNC…

Bulls v. Cavs

i am drunk or i wouldn't be talking to you.

*spoiler alert*

HUGE upset: after clinching the last play-off spot last night against the bobcats, the bulls destroy the cavs because lebron james plays like a pussy. and don’t forget about joakim noah. BABAYYYY. rebound city. dig those old bulls jerseys outta your closet, boys, the nba’s got a new team to beat.

with the numerous trades, rumored trades, and date rape charges that have riddled the national football league over the past month and the countdown to draft day at just 9 days 5 hours 32 minutes and 47 seconds, i think it’ s time i dropped some knowledge on everyone.

#1 don’t believe everything you read.

“Mcnabb’s presence alone puts the Redskins in contention for an NFC title”

So a team with a 4-12 record, not even close to making it to the playoffs, is going to, among many other ridiculous things, beat the Eagle’s, the team that kicked Mcnabb to the curb in the first place? that seems a little silly. I mean. I have a strong dislike for Andy Reid (most of this due to his overlooking of m vick as a potential key player), but all that aside, none of the Eagle’s higher-ups are going to trade a player whose “presence alone” would put their division rival in contention for a title, they would (i can only assume) like to obtain themselves. it’s just ridiculous. the major argument for this inexplicable claim: “shanahan relies more on running offense than passing offense” (read:) less pressure on mcnabb means he won’t freak the fuck out and throw up trash all day. if this were a strong argument for bringing in the Eagle’s sloppy seconds, then wouldn’t it be an equally strong argument for giving jc another chance under this new rb-heavy shanahan regime? ngl, i’m happy for mcnabb, the eagle’s hated him, and he had to put up with that for years. come on guys, it’s not his fault he didn’t understand the rules. but if he has his hopes set on the redskin’s fans being unconditionally loving and supportive, he will be sadly mistaken.

“Thanks to the trade for Santonio Holmes, those gutsy Jets are the new kings of the East”

think revis and sanchez will join him?

ew. i hate the jets. but seriously, does the jets picking up a solid (and by solid i mean, questionable and required to sit out the first 4 games due to his substance-abuse problem) wr really put them over the pats (i really wish the bills or the dolphins were good, would really help to solidify my argument)? the answer is no. sanchez is still terrible. he mighta looked good there for those 2 hard-to-watch games v. the bengals. fluke. and question. without a quality qb, what effect does a wr (whether or not he looks AMazing in the shower) make? answer. none.  fuck the jets.

#2 mo money, mo problems.

big ben just-can’t-help-himself-isberger

i'm fairly certain this is big ben. in a cowboy hat.

i’m not gonna say i told you so. but, yeah, i told you so. big ben raplisberger at it again. i feel bad for the guy, really, the same way i feel bad for kobe, bill clinton, and yeah, i’m saying it, tiger woods. you know what, these are rich, powerful, attractive black men (ok, maybe that’s just kobe, but yeah, i’d hit that). i only joke on big ben, because i hate him/ the steelers so much, and i think he looks like an ogre. if there were headlines accusing michael vick of testing positive for herpes under a fake name and then having unprotected sex with a number of women and lying about it, i’d probably think it was hilarious. and name my fish after him.

julius peppers

i am ashamed of you mr. peppers.

2007 – panthers offer you a deal to make you the highest paid defensive player in the nfl, but you refuse. saying you haven’t earned it. “what an honorable player, that peppers is,” we think.

WE ARE WRONG.

2009 – THE FUCKING REDSKINS WHO RUIN EVERYTHING, sign a deal with haynesworth for $100 million for 7 years. you try to use this deal as leverage for 60 million over 4 years. and when the panthers offer you 54. you say no. REALLY, JULIUS FUCKING PEPPPERS, 54 MILLION IS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU. have fun playing with the shit bears wearing shit colors living in shitcago. i wish your jersey wasn’t so pretty. i don’t want a single bears fan to think i’m supporting your being there.

# 3 errybody wants to be a part of the panther’s franchise

m. vick

of course a. reid won’t let him go (nor would the panthies take him), but m. vick thinks the panthers’ jerseys are hot (and i think he’d look hot in one), and with that as his main reason, has stated his want to play for carolina. maybe next year.. a girl can dream. and if this were to happen, i’ve told more than one person i’ll be moving to north carolina. and i don’t break promises.

jason campbell

mmmm...jason campbell era?

i don’t know how i feel about this. at first i was very disgusted at the thought of the skins’ sloppy seconds sitting anywhere near my boy, matt moore, but maybe this wouldn’t be the worst. the panthers do not have the best of draft picks, and jc may perform stronger under john fox. plus, picking up jc, would mean the panthers are definitely going to abide by the matt moore era, only putting in campbell if moore really fucks up. i’m okay with this. delhomme had no motivation to play well, because he knew fox would never take him out of a game, and look how well that worked out for us.

Posted by: Ali | March 26, 2010

charts and graphs.

sample size = 11.

i misspelled delaware on purpose here. cause, fuck delaware.

Posted by: Ali | February 22, 2010

the sport, not a player.

background:

every year there are 4 christmases, days in which i wake up in the morning (feelin’ like p.diddy) and immediately drink a bottle of andre, sometimes with orange juice, and try not to chip a tooth..again. “dad, i need you to polish one of my teeth. i chipped it. definitely not on a bottle of andre at 10 am.” these days are homecoming, fall blowout, campus golf, and spring blowout (surprisingly, i do not consider december 25th to be a true christmas, because my parents would never let me drink andre that early in the morning. egg nog, yes, 5$ christmas miracle, no). this saturday is christmas number 3 (and quite possibly my favorite of all the christmases), and danny and i will be trekking down to williamsburg to partake in its epicness.

a christmas miracle.

event details:

campus golf involves all of my favorite things: day drinking, dressing ridiculously, and hitting balls with clubs. i’ve already decided that danny will be wearing the most amazing shirt ever sewn together that i found for him. (spoiler alert. it is an amalgam of at least 8 different varieties of plaid all in long-sleeve button up). my outfit might be a throwback to junior year, but i haven’t decided yet.

i'm rull good at errrythang.

itinerary:

as there is a 99% chance andy and zatch will not sign us up to play until the last minute (if at all), we will get the worst possible tee time. somewhere in the 9-11 range. miserable. this means getting up earlier than i get up for work, in order to have finished the required 2 bottles of andre before beginning (also, the fact that we are staying in dc friday night might make this even worse). the good news is that the third bottle will go in my youuuk nalgene and be drank throughout the course. no question. i will win. probably because  a. i win at everything and b. no one will remember to keep score, so i will decide that winning is based on who looks the best (me) and displays the most proper golf form (also me). at some point, i will lose my tennis ball in the street and a car will teach me a lesson as i haphazardly bound into the middle of the road to retrieve it. i will answer to sweet dee only for the entirety of the weekend (and danny to charlie). charlie will fore shore run around repeating touche, salesman, and andy will probably wander off and get lost at some point during the game. zatch, having decided four loco is the perfect pre-game drink, will throw his golf club, tennis ball, my nalgene, and possibly charlie, more than a few times.  the remainder of the day will be spent at delis, napping, and then further drinking at dog house/out.  1000% chance i eat cheese fries at pauls (20% chance i pay for them). also, we will win many games of erotic photo hunt.

other weekend predictions:

– movie tavern. 80%.

– sweet dee gets in a fight with a bouncer in georgetown, because he won’t let me in cause i’m too drunk even though “i fucking drove here”  50%.

– bongzilla is a terrible decision. 25%.

yuck.

– sweet dee and charlie switch places (and share clothes). 98.7%.

– sweet dee takes advantage of a freshman that may or may not have a license. 5%.

– snow’s makin t-nort horny. 100%.

Posted by: Ali | February 16, 2010

i have a crush on every boy.

you would think i’d be a fan of valentine’s day – i’m a girl. i like pink. i like chocolate – but i’m not, and if you are, you’re a douchebag.

the world is divided into two groups: those who are ‘happily’ in relationships with someone who is probably terrible, but they would rather put up with them than be alone OR those that are single – sad, v. alonely, pathetic, spend their nights doing cliche single person things like baking, watching romantic comedies, or petting cats. (i of course am the exception as i am single and do none of those miz things that usually accompany it – maybe i listen to emo music and cry over dexter, the latest book i’m reading, or commercials about abandoned animals, but i don’t think that’s the same). anyways, whether you are in group ‘my grass sucks, but i’ll deal with it and occasionally wander over to that grass over there – just to see how it feels” or group ‘grass-less’  valentine’s day is no good. the first group is FORCED to buy silly gifts and go out for ‘romantic’ dinners and express their ‘feelings’ because they are ‘in love’ wheras the second group sits home alone, sobbing, eating raw cookie dough and wondering why life isn’t fair.

epic valentine’s day fails:

1. 2005: a guy, let’s call him doug, and a girl, let’s call her mary, have been ‘talking’ for some time. doug decides to take mary to seafare (mistake #1) for valentine’s day dinner. doug, car-less, must first convince another girl, let’s call her sofi, to borrow her car, which normally wouldn’t be a problem if a guy, let’s call him sean, hadn’t borrowed sofi’s car the weekend prior to pick up chanellos, but instead drove black-out to massachussettes. so, doug gets sofi’s car and picks up mary and takes her to the restaurant that looks like a ship. the two order shrimp cocktail to share, and are in turn delivered 3 shrimp (is that a joke?) i dk what else they ate, i’m sure it was expensive and not good. doug pays for dinner and probably bought mary roses too, bringing his total spending to prox. 150$ (rough estimate, as i wasn’t provided receipts). by the way, mary is a lesbian.

2. 2010: a guy, let’s call him creeper, sends a girl, let’s call her me, the weirdest message/date request probably ever received in the history of ever, “so, in case you didn’t know, next weekend is valentine’s day. now, i realize that we’re probably not going to be getting married by then, but it would be great to spend it with a woman who is going in the same direction.” my response: well i didn’t send one, but to myself it was a mixture of throwing up in my mouth a little bit and “uhh, what, married, how do you block someone’s phone number??”

3. 1961/1981: after being trapped for 6 weeks due to a terrible mining accident (that occured on valentine’s day), the sole survivor is a guy, let’s call him harry warden, who only stayed alive because he ate his dead co-miners and has in turn gone insane crazy. 20 years later. the town in which the mining accident originally occured, decides to hold a valentine’s day dance and harry must return and kill everyone.

valentine’s day past:

realized i haven’t been single for a valentine’s day since sophomore year of high school, yet can’t remember specifics of any of them. further proof that valentine’s day is a waste. there is a chance that mr. duck was born on valentine’s day, but i’m going to hope for his sake that’s not true.

valentine’s day present:

woke up EXTREMELY hungover at 8:30 am, breakfast with my fam (and danny) during which me and my bro argued with my parents about EVERYTHING. drove to ‘noke to pick up hodges (who was also hungover), napped while watching truman show, lunch at macados. drove home, walked through underground toting un-rinsed beer bong and not having brushed hair since mid saturday. success.

valentine’s day future (as predicted by all those dear to me):

according to christyna: you will have prince charming spend ridiculous money, in attempt to prove his love for you, because we all know love = money, and this wonderful holiday teaches us that in order to be loved and appreciated one must buy roses and chocolate.

according to danielle: we’ll  be together.

according to tree: choose your own adventure, alison’s next v-day experience:

option a. spend all day in bed with steve smith (panthers) after which you will melt into a puddle of self contentment.

option b. spend all day in bed with mark sanchez (jets) after which you will stick your head into an electric oven (not realizing you can only commit suicide with the gas ones, duh) inadvertently melting into a pool of self-loathing.

option c. ccr it.

i choose option d:  a and c.

Posted by: Ali | February 8, 2010

bizarro weekend.

so. i spent what should have been one of the better weekends of the year (superbowl, my half birthday, shit ton of snow) in the magical land that is college park, md. and here’s what i encountered:

bizarro jorty: magic hat + panther joose.

bizarro superbowl: two teams i hate. 70 year old men attempting to perform songs i never really liked in the first place (no, i will not take it back). EVERYONE thinking it will be good for the city. meanwhile i have my graphing calculator out making a fucking junit test for a presentation. and i didn’t see nearly enough good commercials. AND WHO GOES OFFSIDES KICK AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND HALF WHEN THE SCORE IS 10 – 6?

bizarro steve: “it will be good for the city” “m vick is a joke” “donavan mcnabb is the fucking worst” “the eagles offensive line is amazing” “hokies are the bottom of the barrel when it comes to basketball” “i like the jets” “every starting qb in all of football is better than m vick” “a broken hand is not a big deal” “mma is for pussies” “sanchez is good at football”

all of these things did happen, ann.

straight bizarro: “where have you been all morning, sarah casey? “oh, i’ve just been reading in the igloo”

Posted by: Ali | January 26, 2010

like a fucking mint.

most of you know my feelings about jerry jones, possibly from reading my september 29th blog that started with the line, “first of all, jerry jones is a douchebag.”

I HATE HIM. more than anyone, probably, and previously i had never felt that my hatred was intense enough to dedicate an entire post to. but, then i saw an article entitled: “Cowboys owner Jerry Jones happy Saints beat Vikings.” you know what, Jerry Jones, FUCK YOU. really, you were rooting for the saints? do you also feel that it’s good for the city, or did you just want to be able to say that the your team really deserved entree into the superbowl, because you were the first to beat the saints (yet couldn’t beat the vikings when it counted)? i want to cut you.

TOP 5 REASONS TO HATE JERRY JONES:

5. his wife’s name is gene jones.

4.

3. sold 30,000 standing room only tickets for the first game in the new stadium, creating an unpleasant and extremely dangerous situation in order to break a record. From an apologetic letter to disgruntled fans:

“If it helps at all, the only reason so many party passes were sold for Sunday’s game was to break the attendance record. I can assure you that only 1/3 of that amount of party passes will be sold for each game going forward…10,000 max instead of 30,000. That was a one-time deal for the grand opening of the stadium.”

2. Jerry Jones on Tony Romo:

“Some day he will have greatest day of all, I do,  I do I think he will win a Super Bowl for us, I feel like that will happen.  It is in no small part due to his skill level because of his ability to come back from adversity because of his hard work.  That will be one of the big reasons we get it done.”

1.

dear jerry jones,
you are the worst. if there were a list of top 5 worst people in america, you would be on it. probably second, behind ann coulter and followed by jack black, the kardashians, and anyone that works for fox news.
much hate (the real kind),
alison

i am not happy that the ravens and the bengals are out. i am also not happy that my top two remaining teams are playing each other in the NFC championships, meaning only one of them can make an appearance into the superbowl. furthermore,  i am definitely not happy that the jets (read: worst team ever. at all. ever. period.) somehow managed to outrank the colts on my list, and i REFUSE to even consider even for the tiniest bit of time cheering for them. but, it is what it is. and i guess i just have to go with it.

AFC Championships – Colts vs. Jets – Sunday 3:00

i went out with him a couple of times after that, but then it got weird.

how did it happen that i am stuck picking one of these teams to advance to the superbowl? ngl. i refuse to admit that either of these teams will be on the field on the most sacred day of the football season. actually even thinking about picking one has me wanting to get into the shower fully dressed while weeping, but as the vikings will be doing the tromping (that’s right, tack another superbowl championship onto brett fav-rey’s OUTSTANDING career). i guess it doesnt’ really matter. and although i hate both teams, revis has been entertaining to me as of late, and i like the idea of being able to shout “dirty sanchez!!” whenever jared allen sacks him TO THE GROUND. so. jets it is. purely emotional (as i think they have very little chance of actual beating peyton and his wild horses –  definitely translates to douche).

21-17. jets. ugh. that felt dirty.

NFC Championships – Vikings vs. Saints – Sunday 6:30

what if he brings his wife?

say what you want about the vikings, but with 10 pro bowl selections (awkard, because they won’t be able to make it to the pro bowl…), 4 more than any other team, can we really say that fav-rey is the only reason they’re good this year? answer: no. also, who the fuck cares about how he’s hurting the packers feelings by playing for a conference rival? answer: I DON’T.

this is guaranteed to be an entertaining game. we have the two highest scoring teams, brett favre vs. drew brees, and bandwagon fans all around. also, i’m especially excited because most of my playoff fantasy team’s players are from either the vikings or the saints.

high scoring, but vikings take it. 37-30. nice try, drew brees.

my playoff challenge team

you go girl.

is so fucking sick. im ranked in the top 1000 overall, and i’ll get 2x brett favre’s, adrian peterson’s, and longwell’s points this week, as well as 3x the jet’s defense (yay, revis). nick won’t even let me in his mini-league because he’s skurred cause i’m already tooling on him so bad. but, if i win the whole thing i’m pretty sure i get something tight like superbowl tickets for next year, and as the panthers will be there (i got 10$ on it) i will definitely need to go. 3% chance this happens.

other important predictions

uno. i die alonely due to choking incident: 70% (directly related to the fact that i don’t really eat)

dos.  i dom my presentation tomorrow: 100%

tres.  me, danny, and tree win the party on friday, because of (in no particular order) me wearing the tie skirt and toting the beer bong as if it were a child’s stuffed animal, danny wearing women’s clothing and faux smoking a pipe, brad sporting a mullet and imploring everyone to ask him about his weiner, everyone else getting got, and none of us heeding the precautionary lyrics of caribou lou: 99.9%  (aside: chance we sleep in da fort: 100%)

quatro. i watch uptown girls without crying. oh, brittany murphy, i loved you so: 0%

cinco. he may be dead: 50% (he may be did or he may be didn’t, but what did he maybe do?)

cinco. i meet an attractive guy who introduces himself and tells me that he’s a jets or skins fan, and i immediately punch him in the face: 100%

seis. GROUND: 100%

with ochocinco and michael vick out, ray rice and adrian peterson (even though he’s a fumblesauras)  are going to have step up and satisfy me this week.

NFC – Saints vs. Cards – Saturday 4:30

please consider me as an alternative to suicide.

ngl. i don’t really like the saints. but im still a little bit salty about the cardinals tromping the panthers in the playoffs last year. and i dont think i can say it enough, but kurt warner is a giant douche.  saturday is going to be a big day for danny though, as his bandwagon team plays the early game, and his real team, that he’s lost all rights in cheering for, plays the late. also, i’ll be watching this game after running a 5k in below freezing weather and nursing ankles that look  like they were attacked by someone in hostel (awful movie. he was GREAT in inglorious basterds, though).

anyways. boldin missed practice again, but it looks like he’ll probably be playing. i don’t care about him. i do care about fitzgerald. i’m playing him in fantasy, and i get double his points because i played him last week, so he’s going to need to do it RULL big. (how big? RULL big.) drew brees will have a dees game, and i anticipate at least one pick by darren sharper. it’ll be close. but, cardinals, it’s time for you to go home. 21-20.

AFC – Ravens vs. Colts – Saturday 8:15

i wasn't nervous. maybe i was a little bit "concerned" but that's not the same thing.

monday night i had an interesting dream. the colts were playing against a team made up of high schoolers all wearing panther’s jerseys. when i asked one of the children why they were going up against an nfl team, they said that the panthers didn’t want to waste their players on the colts, so they had recruited them to play instead. colts lost, it was awkward.  –> this has to mean something. no way i just have crazy dreams about underage children playing football in the uniforms of my favorite team. awk.

ray rice, ray lewis, ra-vens. coincidence? probably. doesn’t matter – both are beastly and will help my number one ranked remaining team to move on. viniateri won’t be kicking for the colts this week, and who the hell knows who stover is. peyton is celebrating being named MVP for the 4th time, but he’ll have to show of during the pro bowl, because this week is the raven’s show, again. 28-17.

NFC – Cowboys vs. Vikings – Sunday 1:00

i'm not a witch, i'm your wife.

i’m playing fav-rey, the fumblesauras, and longwell (the kicker) this week, so the vikings better pull this one out for me. or i’m gonna blame dan. good news is that the game is in minnesota, and the vikings are undefeated at home this season. the other good news is that the cowboys are not really very good. austin and witten will put up some points. and, yes, romo will complete a few passes, but overall the team is mediocre at best. should not have beaten the eagles, and should definitely not have won the NFC east.  31-21.

AFC – Chargers vs. Jets – Sunday 4:40

my chargers! it’s really unfortunate that the jets managed to win last week. and i’ll be sick if it happens again. luckily it will not. you know why? because antonio gates is going to drop a 40 burger on the jets defense. and revis can’t do anything about it. also, i mean, look at LT. it’ll be a rull shitty start to the week if i have to read one more status by a douchy beta frat brother happy that “his” team won a game. hundred percent chance said douche was too busy spraying himself with axe, playing game cube, and listening to dave matthews band to have watched even one series. fuckthajets. 14-7.

is it surprising that i picked the bottom 4 teams on my ranking to lose? no.

Posted by: Ali | January 8, 2010

some yards is better than none yards.

well. it’s the beginning of the playoffs and neither of my teams decided they wanted to be a part of it. (i guess panthers kinda did there at the end…when they started playing). regardless, it’s time for the playoffs and it’s time to bandwagon myself on a new team or two, so that i can hopefully kind of care who wins the superbowl. here’s how i’d rank the remaining teams (based on lack of douchyness, swagger, lack of bandwagonness, team colors, players, and name).

3 of the 4 playoff games are repeats from last week. but don’t, worry, i won’t be letting the fact that cincy and philly both got blown out deter me from picking them ftws.

(AFC) Bengals vs. Jets – Saturday 4:30

more like chewed out. i've been chewed out before.

after last weeks miserable show by the bengals (27-0, really???), one should be wary of picking them to win this match-up, but i am not, because

a. i fucking hate the jets

b. dirty sanchez is dirty

c. the jets did not deserve to get the wild card spot even a little bit

d. if you’re from new york, why the fuck wouldn’t you cheer for the giants?   because you’re a douche.

ochocinco embarassed himself by talking all that trash to revis and then not showing up. “oh, but he had a bruised knee,” you say. excuses, excuses, i’m not a doctor, but a bruised knee is no plantar fasciitis- and that shit really hurts. he’ll want to make up for it here, and although i do think revis is gonna do work (hence why i am playing the jet’s defense in fantasy), the few plays (specifically the one td) that ochocinco is able to make, along with the STELLA performance by cedric benson will show the jets and erryone else why it’s absolutely ridiculous that not a single player on the bengals was chosen for the pro-bowl (doesn’t matter – i hear they’ll be too busy that week).

bengals take the win. dirty sanchez cries. 27 – 21.

(NFC) Eagles vs. Dallas – Saturday 8:00

"what's that english saying about shoes and feet?"

maybe the stadium will collapse (and michael vick is running late) and then both teams will really lose? since that is relatively unlikely – i predict the following: 24-0 last week and coming in as the wild card means that the eagles have something to prove. and they will. these two teams are relatively equivalent (both have reliable wide receivers, decent running backs, and douchy starting qbs), but eagles have a secret weapon. and his name is ron mexico. and he has herpes. he’s also shown that he can be a threat in the red zone, and when it’s all on the line, there’s really no reason for him not to get playing time (espesh because he’ll be playing for another team next year, and then they’ll really be sorry). also marion barber is hurt, so yeah, filthydelphia wins. 21-17.

(AFC) Ravens vs. Pats – Sunday 1:00

and i want my scalps.

god, i still hate the pats. welker is out. ray rice is a beast. randy moss is gonna get dominated. gostkowski is the only one that decides to play for the pats this week.  and the ravens take this upset like it’s their job. bet on it (i did). can’t wait to watch this game hungover. 14-10.

(NFC) GB vs. Cards – Sunday 4:30

oblige him!

another repeat game. (33-7 last week for green bay, although cards held back on playing their starters), but rodgers + driver + grant > warner + fitzgerald + hightower. green bay can win this one (even though i don’t want them to in real life), but if i see one person wearing any sort of cheese hat or any other cheese apparel i will punch a baby in the face. GBs have it. 30-28.

other predictions:

1. aviators (along with cockroaches, twinkies, and i had thought michael jackson….too soon?) are the only things to survive an apocalypse.

2. my ass gets a parade sometime in the next week.

3. my brother forgets to bring me mr. duck. and i cry. (eli isn’t mad about it though).

4. the t-nort makes more than one appearance.

5. i miss b.

Older Posts »

Categories